I know a fine young man who has a heart of gold. He's 12 years old and in 6th grade. He is a fun-loving kid who loves sports, video games, and soccer. He is likable and very loving to his family; especially his Mom. Last year he started acting quite strangely each day before school. He would wake up frazzled to the point of spending his first hour awake on the throne. He popped Pepto for breakfast instead of his favorite chocolate donuts. He left home in tears and struggled to get through each day.
This went on for several months. Each attempt to ascertain what the problem was met with insistence from him that he didn't know. His teachers were at a loss too. No one could nail it down. Finally, a tearful breakthrough came one day as he got it off his chest and told his Mom what was bringing him down..........he was being bullied at school.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Again the behavior reared its ugly head. He was distant, withdrawn, and sick to his stomach. Believe it or not, when asked if his "problem" had resurfaced he adamantly denied it....at first. It didn't take as long this time to get the truth from him. The same bully was back in action.
Long story short, the problem is being dealt with but it highlights a reality that is disturbing. There is a tendency for victims to fear the perpetrator more than trust the good-guys in their life. They will let the pain of intimidation destroy them rather than tell someone who cares. What makes matters worse is when the oppressor threatens the victim with greater pain if they are inclined to rat them out. Talk about compounding the fear.
We live in a world full of bullies. They are not only in the schools, but in business, industry, and the government (ours and others). They come in all shapes and sizes and all have a similar motive. They want someone else to hurt so they feel better. The problem is they never feel better because ultimately they are miserable for one reason or another. Or, they have been victims themselves so they pass it on to others. Either way it creates a situation of pain.
What is needed is a massive Bully Stomp. If all the would-be victims in this world would rise up and kick the shit out of their respective bully, it might just send a long-needed message. Now I know the "experts" and the "pacifists" among us would argue against it. Yes, each situation is different and yes, some victims might not be as innocent as others. But, think of the power in a revolt! History has shown that a good uprising can make a difference.
The best way to disrupt the planning and execution of an adversarial plan is to do the exact opposite of what they are expecting their victim to do. Their intent is to do their deed at a time and place of their choosing. They expect success and gain strength with each subsequent action. They target the perceived weak among us so as to make their job easier. This is why it is so important to cut them off at the knees, right when they begin. Hit them hard, hit them fast, and don't stop until the threat is neutralized. In the words of one segment of the fighter pilot community; "Go ugly early!"
Teach yourself, teach your kids, teach your friends and family to commit to a life free of victimization. Make the decision now to disrupt the bullies in your life. Not every case calls for the extreme, but sending a message appropriate for the level of pain being inflicted upon you in not unreasonable. What matters most is that you do something and that they don't get to do what they had intended. Each effort toward this end will empower you to hold your head a little higher, display a little more confidence, and make you a much less attractive target.
And, if by chance you happen to be a bully........standby!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Splashback, Nose Mining, and Deep Breathing
Work has been slow lately so I have had the freedom to think a bit. One thought that keeps returning is how nasty grown men are. I make the trip to the restroom several times a day. Nothing out of the ordinary, just standard visits. Being a fairly aware individual I can't help but notice the fruits of some habits that really rub me the wrong way.
Men have the ability to direct flow by virtue of their anatomic design features. Like any gun, you point and shoot.....so to speak. The fluids to be expelled can be easily directed toward the receptacles designed to receive them. No rocket science needed, at a minimum just one eye focusing toward the target. Why is it then that so much of the stuff ends up on the floor and all over the sides of the urinal? I have no proof but I daresay that some blokes purposely angle the stream such that they achieve optimum splashback. Maybe there is a secret society I am not a member of. All I know is I am tired of standing in the waste of others while making a donation of my own. By the way, I am anal about the angle of flight thing. Different shaped urinals call for different angles of attack and I know how to achieve a splashbackless visit!
So while enjoying the experience of being forced to stand in, on, or near urine, I also get the dubious pleasure of staring at nose giblets mined from the nostrils of these lads with the misguided weapon systems. Why in the name of all that is good in this world would someone feel compelled to relieve themselves of foreign nasal objects right there while they should be more focused on flow direction. I'm starting to see a connection here. Now I understand that all humans are susceptible to foreign objects cropping up in the nose. I'm no exception. I do however feel there should be a removal protocol that doesn't involve multitasking at the urinal. Someone please tell me if I'm wrong here. The 30 seconds or so it takes to relieve oneself should not subject the individual to glaring at the nasal waste of the previous customers.
Now on to the last of my gripes de toilet. Why in heaven's name do individuals perform he-hoo breathing while releasing the hounds? I must have missed that day in class too! Maybe it's just because there are a lot of middle aged fat guys on my floor at work who use the same restroom as I do so I am hypersensitive to this phenomenon. I've noticed that most of them breathe like they are running, in labor, or having relations. I have checked myself and I do not do this. I employ the stealth mode at work where if you couldn't see my feet you would have no idea I was even in the next stall. I don't announce my presence by creating a vocal wind tunnel of funk to add to the wonderful aroma of the place. I just sit, shit, and hit the bricks.
My aim (haha) is not to offend anyone here. I just marvel sometimes at how humans behave; especially at work. Hopefully my job will get more interesting soon so I can put my mind toward something more worthwhile. If not, I'll find something else to complain about.....guaranteed!
Men have the ability to direct flow by virtue of their anatomic design features. Like any gun, you point and shoot.....so to speak. The fluids to be expelled can be easily directed toward the receptacles designed to receive them. No rocket science needed, at a minimum just one eye focusing toward the target. Why is it then that so much of the stuff ends up on the floor and all over the sides of the urinal? I have no proof but I daresay that some blokes purposely angle the stream such that they achieve optimum splashback. Maybe there is a secret society I am not a member of. All I know is I am tired of standing in the waste of others while making a donation of my own. By the way, I am anal about the angle of flight thing. Different shaped urinals call for different angles of attack and I know how to achieve a splashbackless visit!
So while enjoying the experience of being forced to stand in, on, or near urine, I also get the dubious pleasure of staring at nose giblets mined from the nostrils of these lads with the misguided weapon systems. Why in the name of all that is good in this world would someone feel compelled to relieve themselves of foreign nasal objects right there while they should be more focused on flow direction. I'm starting to see a connection here. Now I understand that all humans are susceptible to foreign objects cropping up in the nose. I'm no exception. I do however feel there should be a removal protocol that doesn't involve multitasking at the urinal. Someone please tell me if I'm wrong here. The 30 seconds or so it takes to relieve oneself should not subject the individual to glaring at the nasal waste of the previous customers.
Now on to the last of my gripes de toilet. Why in heaven's name do individuals perform he-hoo breathing while releasing the hounds? I must have missed that day in class too! Maybe it's just because there are a lot of middle aged fat guys on my floor at work who use the same restroom as I do so I am hypersensitive to this phenomenon. I've noticed that most of them breathe like they are running, in labor, or having relations. I have checked myself and I do not do this. I employ the stealth mode at work where if you couldn't see my feet you would have no idea I was even in the next stall. I don't announce my presence by creating a vocal wind tunnel of funk to add to the wonderful aroma of the place. I just sit, shit, and hit the bricks.
My aim (haha) is not to offend anyone here. I just marvel sometimes at how humans behave; especially at work. Hopefully my job will get more interesting soon so I can put my mind toward something more worthwhile. If not, I'll find something else to complain about.....guaranteed!
Monday, October 20, 2008
The fabric that feels good.
Saturday morning was beautiful. My wife and I took her son Matt up to a local school so he could participate in a running event. The entry fee for participation was 4 cans of food for needy people. I watched these young elementary school students and their families enthusiastically participate and support this great cause. The smiles and cheers were many as these young runners put one foot in front of the other, from start to finish, willingly and happily.
In one of the half-mile races, this young boy with Down Syndrome was struggling and ended up walking far behind the rest of the pack. As he approached a point in the course where he was closer to the masses, his face lit up and he started to trot, then a jog, then he was running! As he passed by me and I saw his smile and the love and support he was receiving from people he didn't know, I soaked it all in and was very grateful to be there in that moment. That event had fabric.
Yesterday morning was beautiful as well. My wife, step-son and step-daughter arose and headed out to downtown DC. I have been wanting to get my lazy butt back in shape so I signed up to run in the inaugural 5K run to support the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund (http://www.nleomf.com/). As all of the runners stood in a cool breeze waiting for the start, an officer from the DC Metropolitan Police Department beautifully sang the National Anthem. I looked up at the standard of this great country and reflected on the many selfless sacrifices made by willing Americans to make yesterday possible. It was easy to pay tribute to them with a little time, sweat, and effort.
As I took off at the start I felt pretty good. I watched my step-son and step-daughter launch like two bullets.......I knew that would be the last time I saw them until the finish. They are both in great shape and quite good runners. I started losing steam fast. I have been somewhat inactive of late and traveling a lot. Not an excuse, just my reality. I tried to stay focused on running to honor those fallen warriors who paid the ultimate price in service to their communities and our nation. As I struggled up a hill on the south side of the U. S. Capitol a thought occurred to me. The discomfort and pain I felt at that very moment paled in comparison to the probable fear experienced by many of those great Americans when they realized that their tour of duty was over. It was a humbling experience.......an experience that had fabric.
With the busy weekend drawing to a close I settled in back at home Sunday evening, tired and ready for bed. I turned on the tube to check on some football scores. I guess it was fate that I hit CBS just as 60 Minutes was coming on. Their opening story took the viewers to a remote corner of eastern Afghanistan (http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4531399). These guys are in the thick of the fight, existing each day where most Americans would never venture. They voluntarily do what has to be done so we can spend weekends with our families; cheering, running, honoring, living. More fabric.
I was spent. Between the two runs, a wonderful orchestra concert watching my daughter perform beautifully, and a soccer victory for Matt's team, I had nothing left to give. I had taken in much from the weekend and reflected extensively on what made it all possible. Sometimes we forget to stop and really embrace these moments we are given. They don't come to us because we are deserving. They come to us because we are blessed. All that is good has a price and many have paid on our behalf.
Our nation's fabric is its communities, its children, its servants, its families. Without these we would cease to exist. Without these we would have nothing to fight for. Take the time to look around, appreciate what you have, get involved, share the burden of responsibility for keeping this country the best on the planet. To do anything less is to be ungrateful, and dishonor those who have done and continue to do so much.
In one of the half-mile races, this young boy with Down Syndrome was struggling and ended up walking far behind the rest of the pack. As he approached a point in the course where he was closer to the masses, his face lit up and he started to trot, then a jog, then he was running! As he passed by me and I saw his smile and the love and support he was receiving from people he didn't know, I soaked it all in and was very grateful to be there in that moment. That event had fabric.
Yesterday morning was beautiful as well. My wife, step-son and step-daughter arose and headed out to downtown DC. I have been wanting to get my lazy butt back in shape so I signed up to run in the inaugural 5K run to support the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund (http://www.nleomf.com/). As all of the runners stood in a cool breeze waiting for the start, an officer from the DC Metropolitan Police Department beautifully sang the National Anthem. I looked up at the standard of this great country and reflected on the many selfless sacrifices made by willing Americans to make yesterday possible. It was easy to pay tribute to them with a little time, sweat, and effort.
As I took off at the start I felt pretty good. I watched my step-son and step-daughter launch like two bullets.......I knew that would be the last time I saw them until the finish. They are both in great shape and quite good runners. I started losing steam fast. I have been somewhat inactive of late and traveling a lot. Not an excuse, just my reality. I tried to stay focused on running to honor those fallen warriors who paid the ultimate price in service to their communities and our nation. As I struggled up a hill on the south side of the U. S. Capitol a thought occurred to me. The discomfort and pain I felt at that very moment paled in comparison to the probable fear experienced by many of those great Americans when they realized that their tour of duty was over. It was a humbling experience.......an experience that had fabric.
With the busy weekend drawing to a close I settled in back at home Sunday evening, tired and ready for bed. I turned on the tube to check on some football scores. I guess it was fate that I hit CBS just as 60 Minutes was coming on. Their opening story took the viewers to a remote corner of eastern Afghanistan (http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4531399). These guys are in the thick of the fight, existing each day where most Americans would never venture. They voluntarily do what has to be done so we can spend weekends with our families; cheering, running, honoring, living. More fabric.
I was spent. Between the two runs, a wonderful orchestra concert watching my daughter perform beautifully, and a soccer victory for Matt's team, I had nothing left to give. I had taken in much from the weekend and reflected extensively on what made it all possible. Sometimes we forget to stop and really embrace these moments we are given. They don't come to us because we are deserving. They come to us because we are blessed. All that is good has a price and many have paid on our behalf.
Our nation's fabric is its communities, its children, its servants, its families. Without these we would cease to exist. Without these we would have nothing to fight for. Take the time to look around, appreciate what you have, get involved, share the burden of responsibility for keeping this country the best on the planet. To do anything less is to be ungrateful, and dishonor those who have done and continue to do so much.
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