Don't Ask Don't Tell Solution

President Obama’s recent decree that he will put an end to “Don’t ask don’t tell” is by all accounts a transformational declaration of most promising proportions. During this period of war we need every heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transgender (pre-op), transgender (post-op), male and female who are able bodied and willing to answer the Nation’s call. I care not about who these folks are attracted to or what they do within the confines of their own bedrooms. Military service should be available to all who have a desire to defend the United States of America.

There are just a few things that we need to iron out in order to facilitate the reversal of this policy that has caused such uproar for so long. Maybe if we work fast enough on the details we can open the floodgates for our new volunteers to be part of the upcoming surge in Afghanistan. I’m sure many are waiting in the wings, chomping at the proverbial bit, anxious to grab their rifles and start annihilating the enemy. I want them to have their opportunity.

Now back to those few things that need to be done. It all boils down to some fairly practical matters; billeting and bathing. Since the full integration of all parties interested in service will bring together a spectrum of attractions, intentions, and environmental conditions regarding close-quarter living, we just need to iron out those details of who will be sharing intimate space with whom. After all, we must protect the personal privacy inherent in the individual at the same time celebrate the diversity of our ranks.

How shall we do this? Who will billet and bathe in the same facilities?

Heterosexual males and homosexual females? Nope
Heterosexual males and homosexual males? Nope
Heterosexual males and bisexual males? Nope
Heterosexual males and bisexual females? Nope
Heterosexual transgender (pre-op) males and homosexual transgender (post-op) females? Nope

Okay, this doesn’t seem to work as easy as I thought it would. I’m sure there is a combination out there that will make this easy but I can’t seem to nail it down. Since everyone (including white male heterosexuals over 40!) has a right to the protection of their gender and sexual orientation from the unwanted advances and potentially uncomfortable realities of others who might be attracted to them, the open inclusion of all representative groups is going to mandate huge infrastructure upgrades to accommodate the various dispositions. So we will need billeting segregated by gender and orientation, as well as bathroom facilities. I guess we could just use the same bathrooms but set up specific times of day for the let’s say homosexual female transgender (post-op) folks. We could just work up a simple schedule. That way no one is in danger of being in those intimate private circumstances with someone representing another demographic thereby causing discomfort and affecting the mission. Or we could just build a host of one-person rooms, each with its own bathroom and assign one to every service member throughout the globe. But, then there’s the cost.

Oh wait! Here is another option.

I am all for every swinging Richard (oops! Will need to find an alternate saying!!)…..every worthy individual desiring to serve this Nation having the unfettered opportunity to do so. With a plethora of limp-wristed Americans who feel that the country’s problems are not their problems, it is refreshing that there are still others willing to answer the call. So let them.

The easy way to make this happen is to remove all restrictions (except those currently used to determine suitability for service) on who can join and who can do what. Declare that acceptance into the military makes you a military serviceperson, independent of your gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, creed, or background. Establish one standard for service. If the individual meets the entry requirements then he/she can participate in the full spectrum of service options without regard to any individual discriminators. That means one height/weight standard, one physical fitness standard, no preclusion for direct combat service, all jobs available to all who qualify for the prerequisites. This also mandates that military persons live, bathe, eat, sleep, and work in unisex facilities to be provided. There can be no special treatment, preference, segregation, unique accommodation, protected class of individual, or other policy that provides anything for an individual above or below the standard for the whole. This is truly an all for one and one for all approach and the true essence of team.

Gone will be the days of different standards and double standards for males and females that have degraded military effectiveness for years. It will be refreshing to do away with “conditional equality” and see everyone as equal contributors held to the same standard. We can welcome our new personnel and not be shackled by the mindsets and considerations of the past that diverted attention and resources from our most pressing concerns. We might actually improve our collective capabilities and turn a corner towards a military focused on mission in lieu of social experimentation.

History might prove that President Obama actually earned that Nobel Peace Prize after all. Once we create our new “one-standard” military and leverage all this talent waiting to serve, we can get busy destroying the enemy which will hopefully result in some degree of lasting peace and validate his preemptive award.

I guess this might really be as easy in practice as it was for the President to declare it. I’m excited about the future!!